I'm in the Soup

 I appreciate the way my children take note of the things I love. For Christmas, I received one of my favourites gifts: a box of bath bombs. Baths are especially important for people who love to read. You can't take your book into the shower, but you can soak for hours while indulging your need for romance, fright, suspense, thrills, and of course, historical fiction, where you travel into the past and pretend you're on a Passge to India, or lodging in a Room With a View. The water grows cold as you get lost in the story. With your big toe, you turn on the hot tap and relax for another hour.

But I found one pesky flaw with these natural tension relievers. I was partway through my book when I discovered that my Apple Tree bath bomb was releasing small twigs and acorn style balls that floated around me, creating swamp-like conditions. I solved the problem by bringng a mesh sieve from the kitchen and scooping out all the wood. It was fine after that.

My next bath bomb, Rose Garden, scattered flower petals as it dissolved. They stuck to me like leeches, distracting me from my book. They floated around, poking themselves in places where no respectable petal should be found. Again, I fetched the sieve. The ones that clung to me had to be toweled off, but the scent was lovely. 

My last experience was the strangest. The bomb's name, 'Oregano!' should have clued me in. I was sitting in the tub, enjoying the feel of bubbles as it released soothing oil and a herbal kind of perfume and...oregano. Chopped finely.

It floated around me, coating the sides of the tub as well as myself. I thought, well there's oil in here, and oregano, and me. I'm the chicken in this soup. And I'm the dumplings, too, since I'm kind of a 'mature hen,' the sort that gets discounted in the freezer section of the grocery store.  

The amount of oregano floating around seemed impossible given the size of the bath bomb. And yet there I was, covered in vast amounts of tiny, green vegetation. 'I bet I'm one tasty chick,' was my first thought. And then, 'Ew.' 

It took a while to clean the tub. While I highly recommend all-natural bath bombs, make sure they contain only basic ingredients. Leave the forest and garden where they belong. That way, you'll never have to view yourself as lunch.